by Bernie Mojzes

Whinny, the Butt by Suedo Nimh

Whinny, the Butt by Suedo Nimh

Ultimately, this is all my fault. Or mostly my fault. Well, some of it is your fault, but who’s pointing fingers?

The idea came to me in a flash whilst talking to Neil Clarke at Readercon last year: The Journal of Unlikely Story Acceptances -- intentionally awful flash fiction by good writers. The words came out of my mouth, and he looked at me in horror. Which should have been a clue that this was a bad idea. But it was like a hookworm of the brain, an Internet meme that wouldn’t let go. All Your Base Are Belong to the Hamster Dance. Yeah, okay, your parents’ Internet meme. Whatever. I mentioned it to other editors there at Readercon. They responded with the same look of horror.

You see, they’ve been there. They’ve seen the slushpile. They KNOW.

Still, the hookworm gnawed.

I mentioned it to some drunken writers at Readercon. They, too, looked at me in horror.

And then they said, “When do submissions open?”

So it’s their fault, really.